Soiree Special Events

Friday, March 28, 2008

Same-Sex Weddings

I read a disturbing post on Weddingbee yesterday, which gave a small snippet of insight into the difficulties that go along with planning a same-sex wedding. Miss Gingerbread is Weddingbee's first blogger that is marrying another female. I'm really looking forward to hearing more about her experiences with other wedding vendors. Of course I hope they're all positive but I'm afraid it'll be more challenging for her than a heterosexual bride. Even small details like buying a cake topper will be tricky.

I also recently came across photos from Julie & Kaori's wedding on snippet & ink, another fabulous wedding blog. This wedding took place in California and was captured by photographer Leah McCormick:Don't those photos just make you go "awww...."?? These two fabulous ladies actually look more in love than many of the clients we find ourselves working with.

While we haven't had the opportunity to plan a same-sex wedding before, everyone here at Soiree always jumps at the chance to work with unique couples. I can think of a lot of wedding vendors in the local DC area that would love to be involved in a supportive, professional manner. Besides, how can a same-sex celebration differ from any other wedding? Besides the 'grooms cake' having a stupid name (and pointless purpose, I might add...), what else is different?

According to Wikipedia (yes, favorite unreliable resource....), same-sex couples should aim for Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey, California, New Hampshire, Maine, Hawaii, DC, Oregon, or Washington to celebrate their nuptials. Of course you'll want to double and triple check with the rules of your local courthouse....the laws seem to change every other week due to this controversial topic. Like LeVar Burton says, "don't take my word for it."

If you've had your heart set on marrying in your home state or another location, why not hit the courthouse elsewhere the week before and have the wedding as planned? We also recommend this maneuver for heterosexual couples who want a non-ordained friend to marry them. There are plenty of officiants who would take part in the ceremony and skip the paperwork side of things.

Political and religious opinions aside, what do you think? Will the wedding community really ever be 'gay-friendly'? Does it rely on the business owners and their own personal beliefs? I hope someday everyone will jump on the bandwagon...



  • Laura, thanks for your thoughts on this. I always knew you were a caring and open-minded friend back in the day, and it seems as though you only became an even more accepting and intelligent businesswoman!

    I think the industry will have to become more accepting, period. The tides are turning, though slowly, and as more and more LGBT individuals feel comfortable coming out, more and more will desire public recognition of their relationship, regardless of the political climate. From a business perspective, it seems wedding vendors would be silly to avoid this source of income!

    If only you worked a little farther north, I might take you up on your offer in a few years!

    By Blogger jess-nutt, at 28/3/08 12:18 PM  

  • This is going to sound totally cynical, but the first thought that came to mind was "as long as there is money in it, the industry will accept it". Hopefully they'll also accept it because they should and not because it may or may not be lucrative for them. It will take a while to switch vocabulary over (bride and groom, etc), but it will come - kind of like it takes a while to learn to consistently say a friend's new last name after she gets married.

    ps - there are actually same gender cake toppers on the market already. :)

    By Blogger Liene at Blue Orchid Designs, at 28/3/08 12:46 PM  

  • As a DC lesbian planning her wedding, I can say I have had such a wonderful time with vendors. I mean, of course I'm always met with a brief 'huh??' look, but then total acceptance. The only problem I find is there is a total lack of photographers in the area with any same-sex wedding experience, though I love our photographer. I plan to change that after graduating from the corcoran this may :)
    Glad to hear you blogging about same-sex weddings!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 29/3/08 9:57 PM  

  • I can second the idea that DC vendors have been totally accepting. While our wedding will be in the Boston area, we have bought our gowns here, looked at ketubahs here, and arranged for alterations here. We've gotten some brief "huh?" responses. (My favorite was, "Two such good friends are getting married on the same day?") But there have been no negative reactions. One bridal store salesperson was very inventive in coming up with coordinating wedding gowns. And our alterations person made a point of saying she had worked with another lesbian wedding.

    By Blogger CVCalhoun, at 11/4/09 7:17 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home